But how boring that would be, right, if men and women were thinking alike and on the same time-table, take all the fun out of life, right?!! In fact, isn't that kind of embedded into our culture, that we work and strive, and 'workout,' to create the 'PERFECT LIVES'? Of course the truth of it is that we all have a 'misery loves company' side of ourselves looking for the tarnish and tragedy along with the glitz and good fortune; that is the secret behind those celebrity magazines! You've got to get the idea out of your head that you will get absolutely every single thing on your list in a man, and that there are people who HAVE IT ALL. This would give some clues to help lead Connie toward her 'NEGOTIABLES' that she might be willing to 'trade-off'.As we Connie and I began, I asked her to make a 'wish list' for a mate: "Good looks, tall, smart, funny, interesting, good family values, financially well off, ambitious,..." Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? I can tell you that in all certainty, from the job that I do; things that appear to be FABULOUS on the outside, are not necessarily so. Despite putting certain qualities at the top of her list in the past, she realized now that those particular qualities had never really worked out for her, or, as she puts it: "Those guys always turn out to be "douches'!You’re meeting a stranger It’s important to remember when doing online/app dating that you are actually meeting a stranger.I’m not saying this to cause ‘stranger danger’, but to point out that you actually don’t know this person before meeting him.
Communicating in this way can also amplify the desire for immediate gratification and constant access to someone you barely know.Right now all three of my girls are fairly obsessed with watching reruns of "Sex and the City".As I watch the shows with them, (and marvel at the phenomenal writing!One of my patients told me about a person who had two different profiles on the same dating website, one looking for a fling and one looking for a relationship, each listing different hobbies and interests.Another patient talked about how much a guy she dated hated his mother, while his profile had very sweet looking photos of the two of them hugging each other at Christmas.