Consider someone who goes from suboptimal relationship to suboptimal relationship, each lasting 2 years with 2 months in between.Say normally, you have 80 hours a month to socialize with people, but in a relationship (since you need to spend alone time together), you only have 20 hours to socialize with other people.This does require a bit of faith and a lot of security, as you won’t be going on a lot of dates or doing a lot of “stuff” with people.You’ll need confidence in knowing that what you are doing is right.Think about how many people you meet through the course of a year or two.By devoting most of your time to a relatively hopeless relationship, your deprive yourself of the chance of exploring other relationships that might give you what you want!
You devote a significant portion of your time into that relationship (say a year or two), only to realize later that this person simply does not have the qualities you need to become your husband or wife.Since it took you only 2 months (about 160 hours) to find this suboptimal relationship, you have essentially lost the chance for about 12 other potential candidates!(It’s not as black and white as this as we’ll discuss in the where to find a husband / wife section) Of course, this doesn’t mean you won’t enter into relationships that do satisfy your list and find out later that your list isn’t quite complete.“Married” people can range from enemies trying to make each other’s lives miserable, to activity partners who happen to live together, to someone you are madly in love with and want to start a family with. ” This is actually a “good” case where the difference in definition is apparent before legally binding stuff occurs.So when you figure out if you really want to be married, also make it clear to yourself what being married means to you. What if this conversation happens with one person wanting kids and the other not after they are married for a while?