Here is wide selection of Irish jokes, from the dry to the dumb.
Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, who replies: ''No thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here! "O'Malley, a plumber by profession, was called by a lady with an emergency in her bathroom."Well, for my final two wishes, I'd like another two of them"Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work. "Shure now, we have a carport." The solicitor tried again. " "Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about the connubial." Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on.She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. "Sean was fishing and it started to rain, so he moved under the bridge for shelter. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have." "Bless ye, sor. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail.About four-thirty, the telephone rang, and after she hung up, the lady told O'Malley: "That was my husband. "Winging his way to America from Ireland, Father O'Leary asked a stewardess, "How high is this plane, Miss? "Tim and Mick had stepped back into the brush to answer the call of nature.He'll be home in about half an hour, but he'll be leaving on a business trip to Chicago this evening at seven. " The stewardess replied, "About thirty-two thousand feet, Father." The Father's jaw dropped in amazement. As they were blessing the soil with the golden elixer, Tim said, "Sure, an' I wish I was hung like you are, Mick. See if you don't start to feel better." Relief plainly showing on his broad features, Mick said "It's a relafe, it is, what you're tellin me.