There are different opinions about how long it takes. In the story I told above, my boyfriend had been divorced for about three years and yet he was still hurting.Dating too soon after a divorce is sometimes a sign that the man is trying to fill the void left from his marriage.Not only does an adequate amount of time need to pass before someone starts dating after a divorce, but that time should be purposeful.Participating in professional counseling, mentoring, and support groups, ideally Christian-based, shows a man’s humility, maturity, and leadership.A healthy purpose for a dating relationship is to discern possible marriage.Otherwise the dating relationship is nothing more than selfishness of either one or both people.It was also a red flag that my suspicions were right – we didn’t share the same level of interest in each other.When the night was over I went to his hotel room to see if he was there. Then he said, “Here I am a 34-year-old man at a singles’ retreat.” That’s when I knew that dating someone who had been married was more complicated than dating someone who had not.
Even though I have never been through a divorce, I imagine it is difficult to identify one clear reason for it. Depending on your interpretation of scripture, your personal experiences with divorce, and your convictions, you may not agree with the reasons.
As I stepped off of the elevator, I saw him straight ahead sitting on a glass-topped table in the hallway. There was extra “stuff” to work through – a whole other person from the past worth of stuff.
Before you date a divorced man, ask these four questions: This seems like an obvious first question.
He understands the seriousness of divorce, and he’s taking steps to heal and grow emotionally and spiritually.
However, it’s important that he begins this process he starts dating again.