Once you start being more aware of those thoughts, you want to deliberately reframe negative thoughts about the scarcity and unavailability of women.For example, you may want to think to yourself “It’s ok if she rejects me; there are plenty of women out there who will want what I have to offer,” or “The worst thing that happens if I ask her out is that she turns me down and I’ll go talk to somebody else.” It will take some time; it takes anywhere from 21 to 66 days to develop a new habit to the point that it becomes automatic… Want to recognize how many opportunities there are in the world? A scarcity mindset focuses on what you have leaves you feeling like you need to grab for everything because it could be taken from you at any moment.Neediness, for example, is often born out of a scarcity mentality; you fear losing out on this potential relationship because you believe that it’s your “last chance” or that women who are attracted to you are so rare as to be almost non-existent.Because you’re so hyper-aware of the potential “missing out”, you convince yourself that it’s going to disappear into a puff of hyacinth and loneliness if you don’t lock it down .There were many varying details – some men believed that they needed to find their “soul mate”, while others artificially limited the number of women that they believed they could possibly be interested by holding onto incredibly high – even impossible – standards.
It becomes a self-reinforcing concept thanks to what’s known as confirmation bias: the brain’s tendency to give greater emotional weight to evidence – no matter how weak or unreliable – that validates what you ways.
As a result – you become clingy and needy, constantly texting and calling and poking her on Facebook, with each unanswered message making you even more nervous and convinced that something is wrong .
Of course, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as that behavior is precisely what drives her away. Oneitis is a scarcity mentality taken to the extreme; it’s the idea there is exactly and if it doesn’t work out between the two of you…
Taking time to practice gratitude means you’re forcing yourself to be more aware of everything you have and how fortunate you are to have it.
People who practice gratitude are happier and feel more fortunate and tend to be more optimistic in general.